Lucas Aphorisms

Cruising the Net Author Unknown

Lucas - Prince of Darkness

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker, and Off.

Or what about the other three settings - Smoke, Smoulder, and Burn?

The British drink warm beer because they have Lucas refrigerators.

I have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou ...

How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.

Lucas systems actually use AC current; it just has a random frequency, that's all.

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his design shorting out, so he made the wires longer.

Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness - how appropriate!!

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone:- Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb:- Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on the repair of Lucas equipment. Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken, and walk three times sun-wise around your car, chanting "Oh Mighty Prince, protect your unworthy servant ..."

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