Lamb Alarm

Octagon Newsletter September 1991

By Jack Baker

Last year I had occasion to travel in the States of Washington, Oregon and Idaho, not to mention south‑eastern BC. There were times when the 'parts car' had to be left in questionable places, such as motel parking lots. Because I was weary from sleeping with one ear toward an open window I leapt at the chance to buy a car alarm at a special rate offered to MGOC members. This Selmar Unit was capable of almost anything. A jar, rain drop, passing Robin, opened door, trunk or bonnet would set it off and kill my ignition. Wearing my MG ball cap low so as to hide my shining forehead "M", I sent off a letter. Only a few short months later my alarm arrived. With great care I followed all the directions. Darn: No Tech Tip here, I thought, it works well and was easy to install. L.E.D. warning light winking on the console, my 'G' now brought the staunchest vandals and thieves to their knees in horror.

I was concerned that the warning noise emitted had the strident sound of a mildly enraged bleating lamb, but at the same time I realized the ignition would be off and the lights flashing.

Disaster struck when I decided to give the parts car its annual bath. Some of the water entered the alarm, moments later the lamb's bleat commenced and could not be silenced. I disconnected the wires and dried the beast with WD40. Then I parked the car in my Mother-in-law's basement garage. A couple of hours later that good lady phoned to say she was troubled by the bleating of a mildly enraged lamb coming from her basement. Thinking quickly, I rushed over and disconnected the brute. After allowing several days for it to dry I tried once again, this time the poor thing refused to be armed. I took it out and returned it to England for repair, alas they said it would be cheaper to buy a new one than effect a repair. Well it occurred to me that since I had already been robbed there was nothing to be gained by importing another bleater. I gave up.

I realized how good the unit was the very next time I tried to start the MG. Even drowned and in England it reached out and forced me to rewire the coil. Now that's good theft protection isn't it?

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